Back at 50 (pun intended)

Well, I've decided I've been away long enough. I had to come back and write something new, now that I've turned 50. Everything that I bragged about never having in my 40s caught up with me now that I've completed half a century. (Wow, that sounds old! I keep remimding myself it really isn't if compared to how old the earth is. Does help a little.) I have acquired, not intentionally, a major backache which prolongs itself all the way down my right arm. I have to admit it started because of my poor posture and maybe somewhat because of the long into the wee hours of the night on the computer. I ignored the signs my body was frantically trying to send me and convinced myself if my teen boys could sit vulture-like at the computer killing dragons for hours with no major injuries, then, so could I. Not that I was killing dragons or anything exciting like that, just mostly writing, preparing classes and laughing at some silly memes every facebooker (Is that what they're called?) insists on posting, meself included.
After, 5 agonizing days of moving around like some crooked assistant to a mad scientist, my cleaning lady finally convinced me I should go to the hospital to get some shots for the pain. Since the pain killers I was taking were doing basically nothing to lessen the pain, I obediently followed her experienced advice. After, waiting patiently, in increasing pain for a very long hour, made even longer by the fact that I had to keep nodding as I feigned to listen to an elderly woman in front of me who decided she had to share her ailments with me, I was finally called to talk to the doctor. I have to admit I've become just a tad prejudice when I come face to face with a few professionals under their 30s who want to give me advice as if they've been around longer than I have. (I believe that's one of the "now I'm 50" things.)   I hurriedly told him my sad story while at the same time reminding myself: he's the doctor who studied many long years to do this and he knows how to end your misery, and when at the end was given the option of taking medicine at home or being given something strong for the pain then and there, I guess you can figure out what I chose.
I was directed to a room where a nurse 15 minutes later apperaed with my drugs, I have never been so pleased to see a nurse with a needle in my life. I was to be given 3 shots, one right on my arm where the pain was tying my muscles in knots and laughing, (by now I was sure I could hear laughung coming from inside me somewhere), and 2 other shots on each of my butt cheeks. The kind woman asked me where I usually had my shots on my rear. Usually? What kind of person usually has shots there? I told her I had no idea since the last time I was given any kind of shot in that area I was probably 3. She chose a spot I suppose she found reasonable and in seconds I was painless, at least in the areas mentioned at the beginning of my post because now both my butt cheeks were burning. I tried to imagine something cool to diminish the new pain by imagining this was the same kind of burn people felt when they got tatoos. Not that that specific region would be my chosen tatoo placement.
Smiling, the doctor told me I should wait awhile to see how I would react to the shots. I could have told him right then I was not reacting well, at least my hind wasn't. But I wanted to leave, so I lay waiting to see what the rest of my body had to say. The laughing had stopped. But after no longer being able to lie on my behind I asked to go home, I still had to go to work. The nurse asked me who was taking me. I told her I was driving myself home. She then remembered to inform me the drugs I was given would make me sleepy and that I shouldn't be driving. I was already feeling slightly light headed but informed her I lived 3 blocks away and believed I could make it safely there without falling fast asleep over the wheel.
To make a very long story short, I was very nice to my students that day but do not really remember what I taught them, everything was kind of blurry. But, I made it home alive and woke up the next day with the same backache as I had prior to the shots plus a mild case of pain in the ass ( I can now clearly understand why they call annoying people that) accompanied by the worst nausea I have ever and by ever I really mean EVER felt in my very short 50 years. But that's a whole new story and one I, at the moment, choose to forget.
50 has arrived with a blast and so far not the party fun kind.